Love. Of life.

Somehow, even though I had been in and out of a couple of relationships in quick successions over the past three years, my search for the perfect one was always on. All along I never felt complete. And she, even though we had known each other, got close when we re-met after a gap of three-four years. We opened up through phone calls, mails and connected thus. Rest isn’t really history. It’s our present. It’s what we have in the name of love. In the name of life. It’s all so true. So real.

Meaningful loser

For the seemingly confused lot, the world tends to take decisions for them. World looks up to and tend to follow only them who have the guts to listen to their hearts.
You don’t need to be a loser to be called a loser. But if you are called one, the challenge is to fight it.

The fairy

She has been a remarkably passionate lady, very much involved with whatever she is into. Be it her job or the love she has for me.

Slips...

‘Terrific’ can sometimes be a real dangerous word for any happily-unmarried-but-in-a-great-relation young man like me. I casually remarked to one of my classmate, the pretty young girl with loosely hung pants, with her butt-crack showing, sitting right in front of me, that I have a terrific girl-friend. She had a very strange look on her face when she turned towards me to look straight into my eyes. And her response was ever stranger. She held my hands and said mournfully ‘don’t worry; it’ll work out for you.’

To her I guess the word meant ‘terrible’.

The reflection

I am the ‘you’ who you never were.

Famous Librans

Al Capp
American Cartoonist

Aleister Crowley
English Diabolist, 1875-1947

Alfred NobelSwedish Chemist, who the Nobel Prize is named after

Alphonse De Lamartine
French Poet, 1790 - 1869

Alvin Toffler
American Business Futurist

* Oct 04 Alicia Silverstone
* Oct 06 Amy Jo Johnson

Andrea Dworkin
Speech to women at Harper and Row, 1976

Anita Roddick
Successful Businesswoman - Founder of the Body Shop

Annie BesantPhilosopher

Anthony Hopkins
Famous Actor, particularly renowned for his role in Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal

Ari Fleischer
Former White House Press Secretary

Arlene Francis
American Entertainer, 1907 - 2001

Arsene Wenger
Arsenal Football Club Manager

Arthur Miller
1915+, US Dramatist

Arthur Rimbaud
French Poet, 1854 - 91

Arthur Zimmermann
German Statesman, 1864 - 1940

Ashlee Simpson
Actress

Avery Brundage
US Sports Administrator

Avril Lavigne
Popular Canadian Singer - why do you have to make everything so complicated?

Benita Valente
An Internationally Celebrated Interpreter of Lieder, Chamber Music, Oratorio, and opera

Benjamin Netanyahu
Former Prime Minister of Israel

Bob Geldof
Once a member of the Boomtown Rats, became most famous for organising the huge fund raising concert 'Live Aid' in the mid 80s

Brigitte Bardot * Sep 28
French Actress - born in 1934

Bryan Ferry
Musician

* Oct 10 Brett Favre
* Sep 25 Barbara Walters
* Sep 29 Bryant Gumbel

Carole Lombard
Arguably the finest comedienne throughout the 30s and into the early 40s

Carrie Fisher
Actress starred in films such as "Austin Powers" and "When Harry Met Sally"

Cat Deeley
Famous TV presenter

Catherine Deneuve
Actress

Catherine Zeta Jones * Sep 25
Welsh actress who made it big in Hollywood and is now married to the multi millionaire Hollywood actor Michael Douglas

Charlton HestonUS film actor, best known for his role in Benhur

Cheryl Tiegs
Model

Chester Alan Arthur *5 Oct, 1829
President - USA

Chiaki Kuriyama
Japanese Actress

Christina Milian
Singer

Christopher Reeve * Sep 25
Lead role in the 'Superman' films, paralysed in a horse riding accident in 1995. (1952 - 2004)

Cindy Margolis
Actress

Cliff Richard
Ageing singer, unique in having number one hits across five decades in the UK, and entertaining the crowds at a wet Wimbledon - Bring on the Roof in 2010...

* Oct 21 Carrie Fisher
* Oct 08 Chevy Chase
* Oct 13 Chris Carter
* Oct 17 Chris Kirkpatrick

Damon Runyon
American Writer

Daniela Pestova
Model

Danny Boyle *20 Oct 1956
Academy Award Winning Director - Trainspotting, Slumdog Millionaire

Dannii Minogue
Kylie's little sis

David Carradine
Famous Celebrity

Dawn French
British Comedienne, as in French and Saunders

Deborah Kerr1921+, Scottish Actress

Denis Diderot
French Philosopher 1713-84

Desmond Tutu
1931+, Religious Leader

Donna Karan * Oct 02
Fashion Guru

Doris Lessing
English Writer, 1919-

Dwight David 'Ike' Eisenhower *14 Oct 1890
President - USA

* Sep 30 Dominique Moceanu

E E Cummings
Famous American Writer and Poet

Ed Sullivan
American Comedian, 1902-74

Eleanor Roosevelt
Politician's wife

Elizabeth Gaskell
English Novelist, 1810 - 65

Eminem
Controversial Musician. White 'Gangsta' Rapper who has as many critics as he has fans.

Enrico Fermi
Italian Physicist, 1901 - 54

Eugenio Montale
Italian Poet, 1896-1981

* Oct 06 Elisabeth Shue
* Oct 17 Evel Knievel

F Scott Fitzgerald
American Writer

Faith Baldwin
Author

Ferdinand Foch
French Marshal

Fran Drescher * Sep 30
Actress

Frank Herbert
American Writer, 1920 - 86

Friedrich Nietzsche
German Philosopher and Writer

George Bancroft
Historian

Georges Clemenceau
Lived 1780 - 1831, French politician and a Prime Minster of France, 1906 - 9 and 1917 - 20

Giuseppe Verdi
1813-1901, Italian Composer

Gore Vidal
Writer

Graham GreeneFamous Author

Groucho Marx
US comedian (As in Marx Brothers). Lived 1890 - 1977

Guy Pearce
Actor

Gwen Stefani
Lead singer of American band - No Doubt

Gwyneth Paltrow * Sep 28
A Hollywood actress, she even donned a wig and moustache for her role as a male actor in Shakespeare in Love

Hannah Arendt
American Political Philosopher

Harold Pinter
English Playwright 1930-

Heather Locklear
Model

Heinz Fischer
Austrian Politician, 1938+

Helen Hayes
Long regarded as the first lady of American theatre, 1900 - 1993

Helen Hunt Jackson
US Writer, 1830 - 85

Hilary Duff
Famous Actress

Horatio Nelson
British Admiral and Naval Hero; victorious but killed at Battle of Trafalgar. Lived 1758-1805.

Hugh Jackman * Oct 12
Actor from The X-Men, Australia

* Sep 25 Heather Locklear

Ian Thorpe
Aussie Swimming Star, The Thorpedo

Italo Calvino
Italian Novelist

Jackie Collins
Successful Author

Jamelia
Singer

James Whitcomb Riley
Poet, 1849 - 1916

James Earl 'Jimmy' Carter, Jr.*1 Oct 1924
President - USA, from 1977-1981

Jenna Elfman * Sep 30
American Actress, starred in TV shows and some films eg. "Dr Do Little"

Jesse Jackson
Famous American Activist, 1941+

Jim Henson
Muppets Inventor

Jimmy Breslin
Columnist

Joe Hill
American Labour Leader and Songwriter, lived 1879 - 1914

John Burns
The son of an engineer, was born in Lambeth, London in 1858

John Dewey
Philosopher

John Hay
American Writer, 1838 - 1905

John Le Carre
British Novelist

John Lennon * Oct 09
Member of the Beatles, shot dead in 1980

John Marshall
American Founder of Constitutional Law

John Perry Barlow
American Writer, 1947+

John Wooden
American Basketball Player in the 1930s

Johnny Carson
American Comedian, 1925+

Julie Andrews * Oct 01 Famous actress, best known for her role in 'Sound of Music'

* Sep 28 Janeane Garofalo
* Sep 30 Johnny Mathis
* Oct 18 Jean-Claude Van Damme
* Oct 22 Jeff Goldblum
* Oct 19 John Lithgow

Kate Winslet * Oct 05Academy Award winning British actress whose role in Titanic gave her huge international acclaim

Katherine Mansfield
New Zealand born Short-story Writer

Kelly Preston * Oct 13
Actress

Kelly Ripa
Soap Actress

Kevin Sorbo * Sep 24
Actor

Kristanna Loken
Actress, 1979+

* Oct 03 Kevin Richardson

Le CorbusierFrench Architect, Designer of the Indian City, Chandigarh.

Lee Iacocca
Famous Businessman

Leigh Hunt
English Poet, 1784 - 1859

Lenny Bruce
American Comedian

Leo BurnettAmerican Advertising Executive, 1891 - 1971

Lewis Mumford
American Sociologist

Lillian Gish
Actress

Linda Hamilton
Actress

Lord Alfred Douglas
Poet and Driend of Oscar Wilde 1870-1945

Luciano Pavarotti * Oct 12
Opera Singer, 1935+

* Oct 02 Lorraine Bracco
* Oct 11 Luke Perry

Mahatma Gandhi'Father of India' - Indian Statesman, 1869-1948

Margaret ThatcherEx-British Prime Minister

Marie Osmond
Musician, one of the Osmonds, 1959+

Mario PuzoAmerican Novelist

Martha Stewart
Actress, 1922+

Martina Navratilova
Top Tennis Player

Matt Damon * Oct 08
Actor

Maya Lin
Author

Michael CrichtonAmerican Author, Film Director, Producer and Television Producer, 1942+

Michael Douglas * Sep 25
US Film Actor

Michel Foucault
English Historian and Philosopher, 1926 - 84

Michelle Trachtenberg
Actress

Mickey Mantle
Athlete, 1931-95

Miguel De Cervantes
Writer

Miguel De Unamuno
Spanish Philosopher, lived 1864 - 1937

Mike Ditka
American Football Coach, 1939+

Mike Schmidt
Athlete, 1949+

Mira Sorvino * Sep 28
Actress, starred in movies such as 'Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion'

Monica Bellucci
Actress

Montgomery Clift
Actor, played Matt Garth in Red River

Murray Walker
Famous yet inept Motor Racing Commentator

* Oct 01 Mark McGwire
* Oct 01 Mary McFadden
* Oct 20 Mickey Mantle
* Oct 10 Mya
* Sep 27 Meat Loaf

Naomi Watts * Sep 28
Actress

Natalie Maines
American Musician, 1974+

Neve Campbell * Oct 03
Star of the 'Scream' trilogy and other movies

* Oct 13 Nancy Kerrigan

Niels Bohr
World renowned Danish Physicist, 1885 - 1962

Nora Roberts
Author

Oscar WildeAnglo-Irish playwright and poet, noted for his sartorial wit. Lived 1854-1900.

Ozzy Ozbourne
Ex-singer in Black Sabbath, this is a common mis-spelling: actually spells his surname Osbourne, but listed here due to the frequency with which his surname is spelt with a 'z'

* Sep 26 Olivia Newton-John

P Diddy
Rapper who used to known as Puff Daddy

P G Wodehouse 15 October 1881
British Humourist

Paul Strand
Famous Photographer

Peter Mandelson
Labour MP, turned MEP, has had more comebacks than a heavyweight boxer. Bosom chum of Tony Blair.

Phil Rizzuto
US Baseball Commentator, 1918+

Pope John Paul I
Pope, Head of the Catholic Church on Earth

Pope Paul VI
Pope, Head of the Catholic Church on Earth

* Oct 13 Paul Simon

Rachael Leigh Cook * Oct 04
Actress who began her career in 'The Babysitters Club' movie as a teenager and has since starred in other films such as 'She's All That'

Ray Kroc
Founder of McDonalds Corporation

Richard Rorty
Philosopher

Rita Hayworth
Actress

Robin Day
Broadcaster

Rod Carew
Athlete, 1945+

* Oct 14 Ralph Lauren

Rutherford Birchard Hayes *4 Oct 1822
President - USA

Sammy Hagar
Musician, 1947+

Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Author and Poet who wrote the epic piece 'The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner'

Sarah Bernhardt
French Actress

Scott Adams
Creator of the Dilbert Cartoons

Sebastian Coe
Ex-athlete turned Politician

Serena Williams
American Tennis Player

Sigourney Weaver
Actress

Silvio Berlusconi
Italian Leader

Snoop Dogg
American Rapper

Stephen Spender
English Poet 1909-95

Susan Sarandon * Oct 04
American Actress

Suzanne Somers * Oct 16
Actress

* Sep 27 Shaun Cassidy
* Oct 15 Sarah Ferguson
* Oct 08 Sigourney Weaver
* Oct 03 Sting

T S ElliotAnglo-American Poet, Critic and Playwright

Thomas Love Peacock
English Novelist 1785-1866

Thomas Wolfe
American Novelist

Tim Robbins * Oct 16
Actor - starred in Shawshank Redemption

Timothy Leary
American Psychologist, 1920-96

Tom Petty
Musician

Tommy Lee * Oct 03
Americna singer, used to be married to Pamela Anderson

Toni Braxton
R:B Singer

Trevor Brooking
Ex-football Player

Trey Parker
Creator of the hilarious South Park

Truman Capote
American Writer and Novelist

Vaclav Havel
President of the Czech Republic

Viggo Mortensen
Famous Actor

Vladimir Horowitz
Classical Pianist

Vladimir Putin 
Russian Leader, 1952+

Wallace Stevens
American Poet

Walter Matthau
American Oscar Winning Actor

Will Smith * Sep 25
Rapper and Actor who began his career on TV show - The Prince of Bel Air

William Faulkner
Author, was recipient of the 1949 Nobel Prize for Literature

William O Douglas
US Legal Expert, 1898 - 1980

William Penn
English Quaker and Founder of Pennsylvania, 1644-1718

Wyclef Jean
Black Rapper/R:B Artist, used to be part of the 'Fugees'

Yakubu Gowon
Nigerian Soldier and former Head of State

* Oct 07 Yo-Yo Ma



Famous Indian Librans


Indian Legends

Emperor Akbar - The Great - 15 October 1542
Mahatma Gandhi - 2 October 1869
Mata Amritanandamayi - 27 September 1953
Shaheed Bhagat Singh - 27 September 1907

Lal Bahadur Sastri - 2 Oct 1904
APJ Abdul Kalam - 15 October 1931
AK Gopalan (Legendary Freedom Fighter from Kerala) - 1 October 1904

RK Narayan 10 October 1906

SD Burman - 1 October 1906

Ashok Kumar (Legendary Actor & Yesteryear Superstar - Hindi, Bengali Cinema)- 13 October 1911
Madhu (Yesteryear Superstar of Malayalam Cinema) - 23 September 1933
Amitabh Bachchan (Eternal Megastar)- 11 October 1942
Shivaji Ganeshan (Legendary Actor - Tamil Cinema) - 1 October 1927
Dev Anand (Legendary Actor, Director - Hindi Cinema)- 26 September 1923
Thikkrurissy Sukumaran Nair (Legendary Actor - Malayalam Cinema)- 16 October 1916

Lata Mangeshkar - 28 September 1929
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan - 13 October 1948

Hrishikesh Mukherjee - 3 September 1922
Yash Chopra - 27 September 1932
SS Rajamauli -  10 October 1973

Famous Indians

Manmohan Singh - 26 September 1932
VS Achuthananthan - 20 October 1923
Farooq Abdulla - 21 October 1936
Brinda Karat - 17 October 1947

Cho Ramaswamy - 5 October 1934

Jahnu Baruah - 17 October 1952
Mira Nair - 15 October 1957
Mukul Anand - 11 October 1951
JP Dutta - 3 October 1949
Prem Chopra  23rd September
Om Puri - 18 October 1950
Shabana Azmi - 18 October 1950
Smitha Patil - 17 October 1955
Boman Irani - 1 October 1962
Shaimak Davar - 19 October

Indian Celebrities
Shammi Kapoor (Yesteryear Superstar - Hindi Cinema)- 21 October 1931
Mahmood (Legendary Actor, Comedian & Director - Tamil Cinema)- 29 September 1932
Nagesh (Legendary Actor & Comedian - Tamil Cinema)- 27 September 1933
Firoz Khan - 25 September 1939
Tanuja - 23 September 1943
Vinod Khanna - 6 October 1946
Simi Garewal - 17 October 1947
Hema Malini - 16 October 1948
Satyaraj - 3 October 1954
Sunny Deol - 19 October 1956
Prosenjit Chatterjee (Superstar - Bengali Cinema)- 3 October 1962
Khusboo Sundar - 29 September 1970
Vadivelu - 10 October 1960
Salim Kumar - 1 October 1969

Ranbir Kapoor - 28 September 1982
Prithviraj - 16 October 1982
Narain (Sunil) - 7 October 1979
Vineeth Sreenivasan - 1 October 1984
Shaan (Singer) 30th September
Nivin Pauly - 11 October 1984

Parineeti Chopra 22nd October
Wajid Khan (Music Director) 7th October

Jyothika - 18 October 1978
Rajeev Khandelwal - 16 October 1975
Ronit Roy - 11 October 1965
Kunaal Roy Kapur (Actor) 12th October
Kunal Kapoor (Actor) 18th October

Chunky Pandey 26th September
Samir Soni - 29 Septeber 1968
Shweta Tiwari - 4 October 1980
Soha Ali Khan 4th October
Nargis Fakhri 20th October
Paoli Dam  4th October
Sibiraj - 6 October 1982
Isha Sherwani - 29 September 1985
Sanjay Kapoor - 17 October 1965
Deepti Bhatnagar - 30 September 1967
Yukta Mukhey - 7 October 1979
Rimi Sen - 21 September 1981
Anjali Patil 26th September
Gauri Khan - 8 October 1970

Ruins. Of a bygone 'era'.

The mystery behind those glasses was gone. In fact, the glasses itself had disappeared. The charm of her smile was not there anymore. Those breasts had filled out. She looked like a wornout housewife trying to fit herself into a pair of jeans. God, what's this? She looked like a caricature of herself.

Suddenly, it seemed to me like I hadn't missed out anything at all in life. Strange, isn't?!

I. As in I.

मिटटी का तन

मस्ती का मन

क्षण भर जीवन मेरा परिचय …

Colours

She:
He always told her he snores – that’s how his friends had made him believe him. And the first time they slept together, she woke up a little while later and found him peacefully sleeping besides him.

Absence of that anticipated snore surprised her. Not believing her own ears she checks him, placing her ears on his chest. ‘Well, nothing wrong with the heartbeats’. She happily realizes that he was lying to her about the snoring bit.

She looks at him lovingly, tracing her finger along the contours of his face. Eye brows, nose, lips, jaw and the neck. She plants a kiss on his cheeks, tenderly. Then another one on his mouth. And finds her-self among a sudden rise in passion, she kisses him again. A little lower this time. On his chin. Then on the neck. A tickling sensation on his skin wakes him up. She finds him looking down at her, smiling. She pulls his face towards her and kisses him on his lips. A long and deep one this time.

He:
He beams with happiness. It’s truly a blessing to be loved, and certainly, a great high to wake up to the kisses of the one who makes you feel the most special.

You...

You are the friend on whose shoulder I get all the strength I need
You are the mother in whose lap I am protected from the world
You are the child I have always wanted to father

You are the lover who makes all my pains disappear

You are the smile that makes my face look beautiful
You are the heartbeat that keeps me alive
You are the love that stays always in my heart

I wouldn't be the same without you... ever again, ever again...

You came into my life when I was hurt and lost and lonely
You gave me strength and inspiration and love
You brought into my life the stability and peace I always yearned for

You sowed the seeds of a new life of happiness in my heart

You made me believe in miracles
You made me believe in love
You made me believe in God

And trying to discover you, I re-discovered myself

Her. That is.

I have always loved the company of intelligent people. And she is beautiful, which is, definitely, an interesting bonus.

Dealing insecurity...

Why did she keep repeating,'If we hadn't met this way, you probably wouldn't ever have noticed me.' I mean, I found her cute, sensible and hot. Two hundred percent. I don't really know why no one else didnt. Maybe she really didn't. Or maybe what she keeps telling me isnt true. And I think if I had met her before, I don't think it'd be any different. I'd love her just the same.

Truth is, I love her very much. May be it might have actually taken a little more time for me to actually mean the 'I love you's I kept smsing her every now and then to assure her, though.

Romantics?!

"Those that seem little shifted from focus are actually die-hard romantics. They are in love with their life and the life that is around them. They absorb almost everything into themselves. Love, shit and all..."





(Well, I don't remember if I worte this. But then, what the heck, it's beautiful anyways. So here it is. I'm including it in quotes - to be on the safe side!)

3rd July 2008 - London Diary

At about 1.45 am, I reached home (as in the new home), after almost two hours drive from the airport. It's in 3rd zone, a place in East London called Manor Park. Central London, where my college (is) in 1st zone.

Neither the interiors nor the exteriors are pretty much different from what it was in Doha. Every little thing is exactly the same. Only notable difference is the British architecture and the low height fences. Much similar to Kerala - model of roofing - tiles and all.

And at 2 am, I call my father. He greets the phone with a 'good morning' and I tell him, 'Acha, I am here... finally! Safe and sound!!'. Then I sink into the bed made out for me. Its early morning back home.

7 a.m. The following morning. Its been at least more than an hour since I woke up. And I'm still in the bed staring at the false ceiling.

I'll not be able to join the April batch. I will have to wait for the classes to begin on the July 28th. That's the next batch. As of now they have offered to help me find a job. I can't work for more than 20 hours, legally.

7.45 am. I finally drag myself out of my bed. Half of the house is sleeping still.

I tiptoe to the living room. Huge, heavily cushioned sofas have kind of filled up the whole space. I check out the DVDs lying on the floor. 'Shaurya', the latest offering on the Indian Army from the Bollywood. I've been wanting to watch this one since the last two months. And well, here it is now.

Looking out from the window I feel just the same like in Doha. Only there are'n't big fort-like walls around. There are very small (knee-height) fences instead. The way cars are parked and the villas constructed very close to each other, looks pretty much the same.

Every now and then I hear trains passing by. The nearest railway station, Manor Park station, is just a block away. It's mid summer here. Yet, it's quite cold out here. Time and again, it keeps drizzling. Suddenly, I miss her.

I take out my phone and call her, and find a little comfort from across the world.

The portrait.

When I look at the picture in front of me I feel a little strange. The girl in the picture is known to me. I have known the contours of her body. I have kissed her lips. Caressed the cheeks. Held her breasts in my hands. In various ways and on many occasions, she has submitted herself to me. And in more than one ways I felt I owned her body.

I don't do it anymore. Today she is not more than an unknown face in the crowd to me. I haven't thought about her much these days.

O.K., I am lying. But now that she and I are both pretty happy the way we are with our present lives, I often wonder, does it ever cross her mind just like it does with mine, that there was a time when we were together? Intimately, together. I mean we weren't bound by love or anything. But still..?!

Kiss.

There weren't any butterflies in our stomach. We'd gone into a trance instead. Man, how much I love her.

London Bus - The red one...

When you press the red button on the handle bar, the alarm inside the driver's cabin says, 'tin!'. It means 'stop the bus - somebody (read I) needs to get down!'. The flash board inside the passengers' cabin says, 'bus stopping', as the driver promptly responds and stops at the nearest bus stop.

Well, thats how it works here in a conductorless 'Red London Bus'

Writing. As in professional writing.

"Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money."

Roles of a wife...

Lover - first and foremost
Friend - most (seriously) important
Mother - however grown up, all men remain babies
Sister - chivalrous side of men always has an urge to protect
Daughter - ok, once in a while, even a man like to play grown-up
Manager - of every aspect concerning her family
Prostitute - while in bed with her husband

A vague encounter..

As we walked, hand in hand, along the lonely corridors of the national museum, a moment's impulse prompted me to pull her towards me and she quite (un)willingly put her hands around me.

But as we were in the process of drawing comfort from each other, my eyes caught this little child's head, popped out of nowhere, followed by heavy footsteps of maybe its entire family members.

I disengaged myself and steadied her.

I took her hands and ran towards the next nearest spot that gave us a little privacy. And once there, we laughed our lungs out.

Man, was that embarrassing?!!