Thursday, December 16, 2010

Tere pyar mein

Read this somewhere...

na to yaadon ko yaad rakhte hain,
na to sapno ko saath rakhte hain,
hum to bus unko yaad rakhte hain,
jo humein apne dil ke paas rakhte hain...

Saturday, December 04, 2010

Pay it forward

Something really funny happened today.

I was at the corner of Eagle Wharf Road just about to start my bike when I heard a loud thud on the opposite side of the road. I turned back to see a girl, flat on the pavement, helplessly trying to stand up. The entire pavement was still covered with thick layer of snow from yeasterday's fall.

I ran across and pulled her up.

Then asked her, 'you ok?'. She nodded. 'Well then', I thought to myself and walked backed to my bike. And I was so proud at what I had done, that I dint even wait to hear her say 'thank you'. In fact, I dint even lift my head once to watch her going. I was so swollen. With pride, that is, as I said before.

I started my bike and went in the same direction the girl was walking. And then, it happened again. This time it was me.

I hadn't even covered about 10 meters, when my bike went over a hump, slipped and fell. Both, my bike and me. The ice was so slippery, I wasn't getting a proper grip anywhere to hold on. And on top of that, I had my right leg stuck under the bike. I couldn't move a bit. I knew the girl was walking towards me. But at that point of time I just wanted to get the bike up somehow.

Then something really surprising happened. Another girl who saw me fall ran towards me, almost slipping twice herself, calling out, 'are you alright?'. When she saw my plight, tried pulling me up first. But then I was stuck. She tried to life the bike then, but was too heavy for her. I couldn't help her myself.

Finally another biker who was right behind me, got down and came forward. Together they lifted my bike and helped me stand up. Well, all I could say was 'thank you so much for your kindness.'

Now, what struck me was that the whole 'paying-it-forward-process' happened just within the matter of 2 minutes and 10 meters.

Thinking about it I do find it really very funny, as I said in the beginning. Who says fun things don't happen in such cold weather conditions.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Definitely, may be...

The day before we parted, she looked at me and said, 'please don't make me wait forever, because I'd probably be foolish enough to actually do it.' And all I could do was to keep looking back at her.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Monday, October 25, 2010

On aspirations...

If you really aspire to achieve something, and yet, if it seems unattainable, then just let it be. You will soon find your inner being getting attracted towards it. And in turn, making it happen for you. Very soon.

Sunday, October 03, 2010

On courting unhappiness...

"An unhappy home life can trick you into thinking you're in love. The files of marriage counselors are filled with cases of younger people who fell in love and married when all they really wanted was to escape from pressures they considered unbearable. For example, a young girl who is constantly battling with her parents sees her boy friend as the rescuing knight in shining armor who will take her away from all this. She isn't in love- she just wants out."

Never marry for the wrong reasons. You just do not spoil your life but a lot of other people's life and happiness in the process.

Saturday, October 02, 2010

Friday, October 01, 2010

On Stability...

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. And your life. And everyone else's life. That's the only truth. And the only thing stable.

Friday, September 24, 2010

For your heart only...

It's terrible living here alone, without you by my side.
I hope you understand. And care.

I miss you, every single moment I spend here.
I hope you understand. And care.

Receding lines ...

"The closer I get, the more elusive you become.
The further you go, the clearer you become."


- 'Antaheen', 2009

Will I be soon crying at my own fate?! I don't know. I really don't know.

Friday, September 03, 2010

This is her. And this is me.

She cried when we spoke over the phone after our first fight.
She cried the first time we hugged.
She cried when I called her from the airport when I was leaving the country.
She cried when I first called her from London.
She cried the first time we did video chat over Skype.
Yesterday she cried when she saw me for the first time this month after she was back from hospital.
In fact, she cried each time I said anything good about her. Or, bad. Or sometimes, even just when I spoke.

Even though I hate to see her crying. Can I ever get to stop her from her outbursts? And can I even doing anything about it other than sheepishly and helplessly looking at her? This is her. And this is me. Do we need a reason why we love each other so much?

(Image courtesy: www.walkofthoughts.blogspot.com)

On fights and more.

Why do we really fight in a relationship? Is it because certain qualities of your partner irritate you? No. Because those are the ones that you fell for in the first place. Plain and simple. You can never hate them. You cease to have any more interest in them if those little imperfections disappear. Your imperfectly perfect partner would be boring.

Nobody is perfect. Everyone has their own share of imperfections. And when these imperfections complement each other, there is magic. That’s heavenly. That’s love.

For a relation to progress, it needs its own ups and downs. You try correcting. You give up. You fight. You sulk. And then, you realise your mistake. You apologize. No questions asked. No answers given. Not because either of you is wrong - but as they say, saying sorry relieves your soul. You thank God that you are imperfectly perfect together. You find yourself even more attached to each other. More than ever before.

Fights are actually little blessings. In a sound relationship, that is.

(Image courtesy: www.kootation.com)

Thursday, September 02, 2010

On experiences.

I am glad for all my experiences in life so far. Sometimes I feel, if they hadn't been in and out of my life the way they have, would I ever appreciate what I have now.

Because of them I know how special and important you are to me. Someone once said, ‘There is a lot of beauty out there, which is true. But then what's more 'true' is the fact that when I look at you after looking at them, I find you even more beautiful!

Invaluable.

Now-a-days, I don’t even lament why I didn't meet you before. Not even a spare thought. But just be thankful to have you in my life. Every single day I find myself falling in love with you all over again. Even more. And much deeper. You are the only soul I have in this world who can love me like I want to be loved.

Don't give up. Not now, at least.

Please don't loose hope at this point.
Please hang in there for me.
Please don't give up.

Remember, I love you more than anything else.
And much more than you think I do.

Please get well soon.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Parents. As role models.

There is only so much one as a parent could do for their children. They, at most, can only set a good example. As for the rest, the children have to figure it out for themselves.

When words hurt...

When you have a confrontation with people who don’t know how exactly to talk. And more precisely, what to talk when.

• You accept their silly spiteful comments with a smile and say well, ‘if that's what you feel about me, fine with me buddy’. But to the ones with zero IQ take this as their personal victory and start looking for a meaner weapon to target you, with an assumption you are weak anyways.

• Or, you give them even more hurting reply every time they do it to you. But off course, your presence of mind should back you up - each time when a new form of shit comes out of their mouth.

• Or else, shut them up, by shutting them out totally. Why do you really need such friends who don’t care about your feelings?

• Best way, however, is to kill them.

Remember, your friend’s (or, for that matter anyone else’s) freedom to express ends at the tip of your nose.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Lambi Judaai...

Bichhdey abhi to hum, bas kal parso,
Jiyoongi main kaisey, is haal mein barson?
Maut na aayi, teri yaad kyon aayi,
Haaye, lambi judaai...

- Anand Bakshi, 'Hero', 1983





Roughly translated as:

We have been seperated just by a day or two,
How am I going to go on this way for years?
Death doesn't come; why, instead, do these memories of you?
Oh, this long seperation!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Missing you, little boy...

Ani, my little brother, will you ever believe me if I say I miss you? Ever? Well, believe it or not. But that's the truth. I wish it was all like before. And you still think of me as your best friend.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Personality. Of a human being.

Personality of a person is a combination of traits or characteristics that he or she has both inherited and been influenced over the years, owing to factors that are social, cultural and experienced basis.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Relations. And more.

Its just so difficult maintaining all relations you have in life. In trying to make everyone around you happy, you often forget you are after all only human. And, there are still a lot of things in life that are beyond you.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

To the eternal beauty...

This one's for you,

"Imarat dekh kar andaza lageya ja sakta hai, kabhi kisi zamane main agar khandar bhi banega, toh masha allah, woh bhi bada khoobsoorat hoga."

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Fear. Or, the lack of it.

When you are fighting for the truth and against injustice and are prepared to take in whatever that comes with it, especially pain, both mental and physical, and you stand there without a care for what-so-ever, the least of all your life, your fear simply vanishes.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

An Idea.

An idea can only trigger a change by being the result of a thought process that always craved for a change. And that too, if and only if, backed up with practically viable actions. Not to forget - at the right time. Always.

And yet, to think it can actually change some one's life in its entirety is a hypothetical statement. An audacity of thought rather.

Are you convinced? Or, should I speak more?

Friday, June 25, 2010

Ma.

"I have been an unlucky, useless mother all my life. But will that take away the fact that I am a mother still? Your mother. And, I love you all the same."

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Ammachi...

For the very first time after so many years, I seriously miss my mother a lot, all of a sudden.

Its a crazy, crazy world!!!

What's really happening to this part of the world? Going bonkers'?

I mean, I have heard there are gays and lesbians that are quite open about their feelings here. But actually, sucking at each others tongue, squeezing each other, that too right under one's nose is kinda gross.

I don't mind having my voyeuristic eyes roaming all over the ones that take pride in displaying their emotions publically. But not them. Definitely not them. Where have all the straight ones gone?

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Question.

Who am I?
What am I doing?
Where am I going?
What are my chances?
Will I ever be?
HOLY SHIT!!!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Praziii

I never thought I would ever like a name like Praseetha. To me it never sounded good enough. But what I never expected was one day (as in now) it would become music to my ears.

Prazi. To me, today, its the most beautiful word in the whole world. And she, is like a big inevitable presence in my life. Now and forever.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

The lines. That decides ones fate.

No family.
No parents.
No siblings. So to say.
What a waste is life,
that succumbs to petty ego conflicts.
And what's worse,
you live with the curse,
for opposing what's wrong.
And that my friend is called luck.
Or, the lack of it.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना

सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है
देखना है ज़ोर कितना बाज़ुए कातिल में है

वक्त आने दे बता देंगे तुझे ए आसमान
हम अभी से क्या बतायें क्या हमारे दिल में है

(ऐ वतन,) करता नहीं क्यूँ दूसरा कुछ बातचीत
देखता हूँ मैं जिसे वो चुप तेरी महफ़िल में है

रहबरे राहे मुहब्बत, रह न जाना राह में
लज्जते-सेहरा न वर्दी दूरिए-मंजिल में है

अब न अगले वलवले हैं और न अरमानों की भीड़
एक मिट जाने की हसरत अब दिले-बिस्मिल में है

ए शहीद-ए-मुल्क-ओ-मिल्लत मैं तेरे ऊपर निसार
अब तेरी हिम्मत का चरचा गैर की महफ़िल में है

खैंच कर लायी है सब को कत्ल होने की उम्मीद
आशिकों का आज जमघट कूचा-ए-कातिल में है

सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है
देखना है ज़ोर कितना बाज़ुए कातिल में है

(बिस्मिल आजिमाबादी)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Eee, u stupid a.m.!!!

Man, you are funny, is a very unfunny sort of way. And you know what, I hate you as much as I hate your idea of a black humour.

You know who you are, and you know, bloody well, you are a fucking idiot!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Today. As in now.

Love me now. Today. It’s your only chance. Yesterday is lost forever. And there might never be a tomorrow.

Mmmmh...

Whenever you talk to me excitedly, with a half compressed laugh and a pair of sparkling eyes that moves all over my face, I get butterflies in my stomach - not the moths, that comes after a shower, but the real ones. Those that roam around in inconsistent patterns along unsteady tracks all over the flowery patches. Soft, tingling and leaving a trail of hues on every surface as they move along.

Are you ‘really’ for real?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Syntax of cooking.

The Great Indian Recipe.

One could survive anywhere on this planet using this recipe - to make any average Indian curry. Well, here’s the basic rule:

1. Heating oil in an optimally large frying pan. (Ideally sunflower oil. But those who can’t can use coconut oil. Or, use any other oil, as long as it is not one of those petroleum products.

2. Adding – a) mustard – on the complete bursting of which add - b) curry leaves, green chilli, garlic, ginger – either one after another or simultaneously. Anyways they all end up in the same place. Don’t they?!

3. Next put into the hot oily mix, some finely sliced onion – Finely sliced, so that they drink less oil. Large ones. Preferably, red ones. Because they taste better. Or, even may be the paler pink ones. Because they are easier on your eyes. Number could depend on the number of people finally having the meal. The more, the thicker the gravy. Well, am I using too many the’s??

4. O.k. now wait for all of the above in the pan to be Go(r)ldon Brown. Opps, no, let it be chocolate brown. Because being an amateur you never know if it is cooked or not. Clue: Keep stirring till your arms ache.

5. Now to speed up the browning process and to spice up the taste a little, add salt ‘to taste’. Whatever that means.

6. Next, add two teaspoons of the masala(s) – the ground spices – for the Indian touch. For its these spices that makes all the difference. For starters, add coriander powder. And a dash, of turmeric, if you feel like it. A really tiny dash. Or else, it would end up tasting like something unimaginable. For the lazier lots, there are a number of easier way(s) out available in the superstores and off licence stores. Under a lot of Indian sounding labels. And almost all suffixed by ‘powder’ or ‘masala’. Sambar powder/masala, rasam powder/masala, curry powder/masala (ideal for the veggies). Chicken curry powder/masala, muttan curry powder/masala, egg curry powder/masala, and more. With these powders around one need not worry about the permutations and combinations of coriander and turmeric and cardamom powders to make up for the taste.

7. Exhausted already?! Well, hang on. We are almost there.

8. Throw in some tomatoes. Tinned, or the well, (un)tinned. Makes no difference as long as you are no cooking expert. Make sure you cut the tomatoes into smaller pieces, if you are using fresh whole tomatoes. Fresh, as in from the refrigerator shelves.

9. Mix the tomatoes properly with the onion paste (it should be looking like something similar by now). The number could depend on your tongue capacity. If it can handle a lot of salt. Well, good for you. Or, in ideal cases, two or three would look good in the pan. Visual effect, that is.

10. Put a little tamarind to soak in a cup of still water if you have made up your mind on fish curry or sambar. Pour the tamarind and the water and all, into the pan. No time to regret. Or else if not, avoid this stage.

11. A teaspoon or two of coconut paste or ginger garlic paste or both, won’t be a bad idea at this stage.

12. Add water. One or two cups. Mix and match the mixture. (I think pun sounds fun). If you are ok with the thickness, or, if it is visually appealing. Or both. You are on the right track. If your intention is to make a roast. Meat or no meat. Be it of any kind. DO NOT pour water. In this case, you may keep stirring till ever bit is evenly cooked or evenly coated with the masala paste or both. Whichever tests your patience less.

13. You may now increase the intensity of the flame or heat or both and let the mix get on with its journey the boiling point. And wait for a while till they show signs of bubbles here and there.

14. Meanwhile, you may get hold of the cut and cleaned meat – chicken/mutton/beef/pork/fish – or cooked vegetables in case of sambar – add them slowly into the boiling broth, so to say. And in ideal cases, even the mutton or pork, both of which need some extra cooking, could be added after a stage of cooking. The watery remains in the container could be added with a little salt and pepper and poured into a cup and be served to one of your guests in order to boast your culinary skills. But before serving don’t forget to mention its ‘soup’. If they are normal people, they could have difficulty identifying what they are about to be emotionally blackmailed into having. If they are abnormal, they'll have it anyway.

15. Let it continue bubbling beyond the boiling point till the meat or vegetable is as soft as 'butter'. But don’t forget to keep stirring the whole thing. Or else, you will have a hell of a time scratching off the burnt remains from the container while washing.

16. Serve and have it yourself with cooked rice or heated ready-to-eat ‘frozen’ chappathi or again ‘frozen’ parathas. Well, if you need to survive, you need to survive this. Simple as that.

P.S.: For better taste results make someone else eat it. If they are still sitting steady. You are sure to be ok. Or else, empty the frying pan into the toilet sink. Order a pizza. Go for shopping whenever you feel like experimenting next. And start all over again from the beginning.

Yours, forever and ever.

You never know love, unless you surrender to it completely. I did. And I am happy about it. Thoughts of you keep me alive. Full of life.

You are my strength. My inspiration.

I hope.

Looks to me like I am stuck in an endless space of time over the past two years. Am I hopeful? To an extent, yes.

It seem to me like I am on the verge of something seriously big. Something almost certain of happening. Well, I hope.

Monday, January 18, 2010

M.

"I am not waiting for you, but living because of you."

God, do I really deserve this? Am I even half as good?!

Wish I had...

... a sister. Elder or younger, I don't really care. I just wish I had one.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

2010.

2010. All set to make me an year older. I am already 30. Going on... (I DO NOT wish to go on to be) 31! An absolute and strict NO!!

I am going to hate every birthday of mine from now.
I don't want to grow old.

Friday, January 08, 2010

Wisdom. To live by.

To...
- laugh often and love much;
- win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children;
- earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends;
- appreciate beauty;
- find the best in others;
- give of one's self;
- leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
- have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation;
- know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived...

...this is to have succeeded.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

London

Dark. And wet. And cold. And pale white. And boring. And absolutely unromantic.