Wednesday, November 05, 2014

Life as a married man

(Just found this piece. Although its been almost 3 years, since I've been married, I couldn't resist posting this one here. Prazi and me, are proud parents to a soon-to-be 2-year-old Ammukutty, today. It does seem a little late. But then, who cares. And incidentally, this was written in early January 2012) 

Looking back at the past one and half month as a married man.

Marrying isn’t as scary as I expected it to be, after all. I mean, today, I have a beautiful wife and a cute little place to call our home and a glass bowl with a golden fish (there were four, three died), three little potted plants (Tulsi, Rose & Jasmine), a within-budget life, and a few seem-to-be-happy-with-us-or-so sort of neighbors. And she, my wife, on her part, makes sure I eat every single morsel on my plate every time we sit to eat, even if that means to literally feed me with her hands. Like my mother used to do. Till the very previous day of the accident that took her life away.

It’s almost like certain memories, keep coming back to me. Sometimes, I do get up at night, all of a sudden, just to take a look at her, sleeping peacefully next to me.  There are yet other times, when I draw her arm to place my head, before going back to sleep, hugging her, like I used to with my mother.

Prazi is undoubtedly the best thing that has happened to me in these 32 years. This is the first time I wanted something and I really got it, albeit, with my father’s disapproval. But then when did he ever agree to anything that I wanted to have in my life. I do wish sometimes I had the sternness my brother had whenever he dealt with my father.

Anyways, let’s not get there. Forget it. I never mentioned it (It’d be better if I deleted the last line. But then, let the little unhappy part of my life remain highlighted. Lest all this happiness make me haughty).

I am a dreamer. Period. I have lived all my life (so far) for them, as they are the sole reason that makes me tick (so good). Have they come true? Not yet. Not all of them. But am I nearly there? I’d love to believe so.

But these days, I do get a strange sensation. Like I almost feel things have finally started working for me. Like something very big and beautiful is almost at my doorstep.