Relations. And more.

Its just so difficult maintaining all relations you have in life. In trying to make everyone around you happy, you often forget you are after all only human. And, there are still a lot of things in life that are beyond you.

To the eternal beauty...

This one's for you,

"Imarat dekh kar andaza lageya ja sakta hai, kabhi kisi zamane main agar khandar bhi banega, toh masha allah, woh bhi bada khoobsoorat hoga."

Fear. Or, the lack of it.

When you are fighting for the truth and against injustice and are prepared to take in whatever that comes with it, especially pain, both mental and physical, and you stand there without a care for what-so-ever, the least of all your life, your fear simply vanishes.

An Idea.

An idea can only trigger a change by being the result of a thought process that always craved for a change. And that too, if and only if, backed up with practically viable actions. Not to forget - at the right time. Always.

And yet, to think it can actually change some one's life in its entirety is a hypothetical statement. An audacity of thought rather.

Are you convinced? Or, should I speak more?

Ma.

"I have been an unlucky, useless mother all my life. But will that take away the fact that I am a mother still? Your mother. And, I love you all the same."

Ammachi...

For the very first time after so many years, I seriously miss my mother a lot, all of a sudden.

Its a crazy, crazy world!!!

What's really happening to this part of the world? Going bonkers'?

I mean, I have heard there are gays and lesbians that are quite open about their feelings here. But actually, sucking at each others tongue, squeezing each other, that too right under one's nose is kinda gross.

I don't mind having my voyeuristic eyes roaming all over the ones that take pride in displaying their emotions publically. But not them. Definitely not them. Where have all the straight ones gone?

Question.

Who am I?
What am I doing?
Where am I going?
What are my chances?
Will I ever be?
HOLY SHIT!!!

Praziii

I never thought I would ever like a name like Praseetha. To me it never sounded good enough. But what I never expected was one day (as in now) it would become music to my ears.

Prazi. To me, today, its the most beautiful word in the whole world. And she, is like a big inevitable presence in my life. Now and forever.

The lines. That decides ones fate.

No family.
No parents.
No siblings. So to say.
What a waste is life,
that succumbs to petty ego conflicts.
And what's worse,
you live with the curse,
for opposing what's wrong.
And that my friend is called luck.
Or, the lack of it.

सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना

सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है
देखना है ज़ोर कितना बाज़ुए कातिल में है

वक्त आने दे बता देंगे तुझे ए आसमान
हम अभी से क्या बतायें क्या हमारे दिल में है

(ऐ वतन,) करता नहीं क्यूँ दूसरा कुछ बातचीत
देखता हूँ मैं जिसे वो चुप तेरी महफ़िल में है

रहबरे राहे मुहब्बत, रह न जाना राह में
लज्जते-सेहरा न वर्दी दूरिए-मंजिल में है

अब न अगले वलवले हैं और न अरमानों की भीड़
एक मिट जाने की हसरत अब दिले-बिस्मिल में है

ए शहीद-ए-मुल्क-ओ-मिल्लत मैं तेरे ऊपर निसार
अब तेरी हिम्मत का चरचा गैर की महफ़िल में है

खैंच कर लायी है सब को कत्ल होने की उम्मीद
आशिकों का आज जमघट कूचा-ए-कातिल में है

सरफ़रोशी की तमन्ना अब हमारे दिल में है
देखना है ज़ोर कितना बाज़ुए कातिल में है

(बिस्मिल आजिमाबादी)

Eee, u stupid a.m.!!!

Man, you are funny, is a very unfunny sort of way. And you know what, I hate you as much as I hate your idea of a black humour.

You know who you are, and you know, bloody well, you are a fucking idiot!

Today. As in now.

Love me now. Today. It’s your only chance. Yesterday is lost forever. And there might never be a tomorrow.

Mmmmh...

Whenever you talk to me excitedly, with a half compressed laugh and a pair of sparkling eyes that moves all over my face, I get butterflies in my stomach - not the moths, that comes after a shower, but the real ones. Those that roam around in inconsistent patterns along unsteady tracks all over the flowery patches. Soft, tingling and leaving a trail of hues on every surface as they move along.

Are you ‘really’ for real?

Syntax of cooking.

The Great Indian Recipe.

One could survive anywhere on this planet using this recipe - to make any average Indian curry. Well, here’s the basic rule:

1. Heating oil in an optimally large frying pan. (Ideally sunflower oil. But those who can’t can use coconut oil. Or, use any other oil, as long as it is not one of those petroleum products.

2. Adding – a) mustard – on the complete bursting of which add - b) curry leaves, green chilli, garlic, ginger – either one after another or simultaneously. Anyways they all end up in the same place. Don’t they?!

3. Next put into the hot oily mix, some finely sliced onion – Finely sliced, so that they drink less oil. Large ones. Preferably, red ones. Because they taste better. Or, even may be the paler pink ones. Because they are easier on your eyes. Number could depend on the number of people finally having the meal. The more, the thicker the gravy. Well, am I using too many the’s??

4. O.k. now wait for all of the above in the pan to be Go(r)ldon Brown. Opps, no, let it be chocolate brown. Because being an amateur you never know if it is cooked or not. Clue: Keep stirring till your arms ache.

5. Now to speed up the browning process and to spice up the taste a little, add salt ‘to taste’. Whatever that means.

6. Next, add two teaspoons of the masala(s) – the ground spices – for the Indian touch. For its these spices that makes all the difference. For starters, add coriander powder. And a dash, of turmeric, if you feel like it. A really tiny dash. Or else, it would end up tasting like something unimaginable. For the lazier lots, there are a number of easier way(s) out available in the superstores and off licence stores. Under a lot of Indian sounding labels. And almost all suffixed by ‘powder’ or ‘masala’. Sambar powder/masala, rasam powder/masala, curry powder/masala (ideal for the veggies). Chicken curry powder/masala, muttan curry powder/masala, egg curry powder/masala, and more. With these powders around one need not worry about the permutations and combinations of coriander and turmeric and cardamom powders to make up for the taste.

7. Exhausted already?! Well, hang on. We are almost there.

8. Throw in some tomatoes. Tinned, or the well, (un)tinned. Makes no difference as long as you are no cooking expert. Make sure you cut the tomatoes into smaller pieces, if you are using fresh whole tomatoes. Fresh, as in from the refrigerator shelves.

9. Mix the tomatoes properly with the onion paste (it should be looking like something similar by now). The number could depend on your tongue capacity. If it can handle a lot of salt. Well, good for you. Or, in ideal cases, two or three would look good in the pan. Visual effect, that is.

10. Put a little tamarind to soak in a cup of still water if you have made up your mind on fish curry or sambar. Pour the tamarind and the water and all, into the pan. No time to regret. Or else if not, avoid this stage.

11. A teaspoon or two of coconut paste or ginger garlic paste or both, won’t be a bad idea at this stage.

12. Add water. One or two cups. Mix and match the mixture. (I think pun sounds fun). If you are ok with the thickness, or, if it is visually appealing. Or both. You are on the right track. If your intention is to make a roast. Meat or no meat. Be it of any kind. DO NOT pour water. In this case, you may keep stirring till ever bit is evenly cooked or evenly coated with the masala paste or both. Whichever tests your patience less.

13. You may now increase the intensity of the flame or heat or both and let the mix get on with its journey the boiling point. And wait for a while till they show signs of bubbles here and there.

14. Meanwhile, you may get hold of the cut and cleaned meat – chicken/mutton/beef/pork/fish – or cooked vegetables in case of sambar – add them slowly into the boiling broth, so to say. And in ideal cases, even the mutton or pork, both of which need some extra cooking, could be added after a stage of cooking. The watery remains in the container could be added with a little salt and pepper and poured into a cup and be served to one of your guests in order to boast your culinary skills. But before serving don’t forget to mention its ‘soup’. If they are normal people, they could have difficulty identifying what they are about to be emotionally blackmailed into having. If they are abnormal, they'll have it anyway.

15. Let it continue bubbling beyond the boiling point till the meat or vegetable is as soft as 'butter'. But don’t forget to keep stirring the whole thing. Or else, you will have a hell of a time scratching off the burnt remains from the container while washing.

16. Serve and have it yourself with cooked rice or heated ready-to-eat ‘frozen’ chappathi or again ‘frozen’ parathas. Well, if you need to survive, you need to survive this. Simple as that.

P.S.: For better taste results make someone else eat it. If they are still sitting steady. You are sure to be ok. Or else, empty the frying pan into the toilet sink. Order a pizza. Go for shopping whenever you feel like experimenting next. And start all over again from the beginning.

Yours, forever and ever.

You never know love, unless you surrender to it completely. I did. And I am happy about it. Thoughts of you keep me alive. Full of life.

You are my strength. My inspiration.

I hope.

Looks to me like I am stuck in an endless space of time over the past two years. Am I hopeful? To an extent, yes.

It seem to me like I am on the verge of something seriously big. Something almost certain of happening. Well, I hope.

M.

"I am not waiting for you, but living because of you."

God, do I really deserve this? Am I even half as good?!

Wish I had...

... a sister. Elder or younger, I don't really care. I just wish I had one.

Philosophy. Of life.

I love. Therefore, I live.