Receding lines ...

"The closer I get, the more elusive you become.
The further you go, the clearer you become."

- 'Antaheen', 2009

Will I be soon crying at my own fate?! I don't know. I really don't know.

'......'

No words.

This is her. And this is me.

She cried when we spoke over the phone after our first fight.
She cried the first time we hugged.
She cried when I called her from the airport when I was leaving the country.
She cried when I first called her from London.
She cried the first time we did video chat over Skype.
Yesterday she cried when she saw me for the first time this month after she was back from hospital.
In fact, she cried each time I said anything good about her. Or, bad. Or sometimes, even just when I spoke.

Even though I hate to see her crying. Can I ever get to stop her from her outbursts? And can I even doing anything about it other than sheepishly and helplessly looking at her? This is her. And this is me. Do we need a reason why we love each other so much?

(Image courtesy: www.walkofthoughts.blogspot.com)

On fights and more.

Why do we really fight in a relationship? Is it because certain qualities of your partner irritate you? No. Because those are the ones that you fell for in the first place. Plain and simple. You can never hate them. You cease to have any more interest in them if those little imperfections disappear. Your imperfectly perfect partner would be boring.

Nobody is perfect. Everyone has their own share of imperfections. And when these imperfections complement each other, there is magic. That’s heavenly. That’s love.

For a relation to progress, it needs its own ups and downs. You try correcting. You give up. You fight. You sulk. And then, you realise your mistake. You apologize. No questions asked. No answers given. Not because either of you is wrong - but as they say, saying sorry relieves your soul. You thank God that you are imperfectly perfect together. You find yourself even more attached to each other. More than ever before.

Fights are actually little blessings. In a sound relationship, that is.

(Image courtesy: www.kootation.com)

On experiences.

I am glad for all my experiences in life so far. Sometimes I feel, if they hadn't been in and out of my life the way they have, would I ever appreciate what I have now.

Because of them I know how special and important you are to me. Someone once said, ‘There is a lot of beauty out there, which is true. But then what's more 'true' is the fact that when I look at you after looking at them, I find you even more beautiful!

Invaluable.

Now-a-days, I don’t even lament why I didn't meet you before. Not even a spare thought. But just be thankful to have you in my life. Every single day I find myself falling in love with you all over again. Even more. And much deeper. You are the only soul I have in this world who can love me like I want to be loved.

Don't give up. Not now, at least.

Please don't loose hope at this point.
Please hang in there for me.
Please don't give up.

Remember, I love you more than anything else.
And much more than you think I do.

Please get well soon.

Parents. As role models.

There is only so much one as a parent could do for their children. They, at most, can only set a good example. As for the rest, the children have to figure it out for themselves.

When words hurt...

When you have a confrontation with people who don’t know how exactly to talk. And more precisely, what to talk when.

• You accept their silly spiteful comments with a smile and say well, ‘if that's what you feel about me, fine with me buddy’. But to the ones with zero IQ take this as their personal victory and start looking for a meaner weapon to target you, with an assumption you are weak anyways.

• Or, you give them even more hurting reply every time they do it to you. But off course, your presence of mind should back you up - each time when a new form of shit comes out of their mouth.

• Or else, shut them up, by shutting them out totally. Why do you really need such friends who don’t care about your feelings?

• Best way, however, is to kill them.

Remember, your friend’s (or, for that matter anyone else’s) freedom to express ends at the tip of your nose.

Lambi Judaai...

Bichhdey abhi to hum, bas kal parso,
Jiyoongi main kaisey, is haal mein barson?
Maut na aayi, teri yaad kyon aayi,
Haaye, lambi judaai...

- Anand Bakshi, 'Hero', 1983





Roughly translated as:

We have been seperated just by a day or two,
How am I going to go on this way for years?
Death doesn't come; why, instead, do these memories of you?
Oh, this long seperation!

Missing you, little boy...

Ani, my little brother, will you ever believe me if I say I miss you? Ever? Well, believe it or not. But that's the truth. I wish it was all like before. And you still think of me as your best friend.

Personality. Of a human being.

Personality of a person is a combination of traits or characteristics that he or she has both inherited and been influenced over the years, owing to factors that are social, cultural and experienced basis.

Relations. And more.

Its just so difficult maintaining all relations you have in life. In trying to make everyone around you happy, you often forget you are after all only human. And, there are still a lot of things in life that are beyond you.

To the eternal beauty...

This one's for you,

"Imarat dekh kar andaza lageya ja sakta hai, kabhi kisi zamane main agar khandar bhi banega, toh masha allah, woh bhi bada khoobsoorat hoga."

Fear. Or, the lack of it.

When you are fighting for the truth and against injustice and are prepared to take in whatever that comes with it, especially pain, both mental and physical, and you stand there without a care for what-so-ever, the least of all your life, your fear simply vanishes.

An Idea.

An idea can only trigger a change by being the result of a thought process that always craved for a change. And that too, if and only if, backed up with practically viable actions. Not to forget - at the right time. Always.

And yet, to think it can actually change some one's life in its entirety is a hypothetical statement. An audacity of thought rather.

Are you convinced? Or, should I speak more?

Ma.

"I have been an unlucky, useless mother all my life. But will that take away the fact that I am a mother still? Your mother. And, I love you all the same."

Ammachi...

For the very first time after so many years, I seriously miss my mother a lot, all of a sudden.

Its a crazy, crazy world!!!

What's really happening to this part of the world? Going bonkers'?

I mean, I have heard there are gays and lesbians that are quite open about their feelings here. But actually, sucking at each others tongue, squeezing each other, that too right under one's nose is kinda gross.

I don't mind having my voyeuristic eyes roaming all over the ones that take pride in displaying their emotions publically. But not them. Definitely not them. Where have all the straight ones gone?

Question.

Who am I?
What am I doing?
Where am I going?
What are my chances?
Will I ever be?
HOLY SHIT!!!

Praziii

I never thought I would ever like a name like Praseetha. To me it never sounded good enough. But what I never expected was one day (as in now) it would become music to my ears.

Prazi. To me, today, its the most beautiful word in the whole world. And she, is like a big inevitable presence in my life. Now and forever.